"DORIS' DAY"

by
Steve Remen


FADE UP on Doris as she plays basketball in her back yard. Her mother leans out the back window to let Doris know that her lunch is ready. Doris drops her ball and runs into the house through the back door. When she gets into the house, she stops as she hears a recording that her mother is listening to (Que Sera Sera?). Doris comments on how much she likes the song and starts to sing along. Her singing is loud and horrible. She then starts to do a silly dance as she sings.

Doris' mother enters with Doris' lunch while Doris is singing. She praises Doris' strong voice and on what a great singer she is. Doris decides, at that moment, that she wants to become a singer. As Doris' mother exits, she starts to sing, and she is equally as horrible a singer as Doris.

The next day, at the Hilltop School playground, Doris tells the gang about how she wants to become a professional singer.

char_tim_dorischar_tim_charles
Charles
I thought you wanted to become a fire fighter?

Doris
I changed my mind! Here, I'll show you how good I am!


Doris starts to sing and do her silly dance. All the kids turn and look at Doris, cringing. They all run away from Doris, towards the school. Mrs. Jenkins walks out the side door and is about to ring the school bell, when all the kids run past her into the school. Mrs. J. looks at the kids, puzzled. She hears Doris and turns to her. She smiles as she watches Doris finish her song and silly dance. When Doris stops, she starts to bow, "Thank you! Thank you!" She looks up and notices that everyone is gone. She looks around, "HEY?! Where did everybody go?" Mrs. J. rings the school bell. Doris thinks that the kids left due to the bell. She runs into the school, giggling all the way.

Once inside the classroom, Mrs. J. informs the class that they are going to do another talent show. Grace smiles from ear to ear, "Oh, now I will have the chance to do my beautiful ballet dance."

char_tim_grace
Doris
Don't hurt your foot this time.

Grace gives Doris a chilly response, "I won't."

Other kids shout out what they will do for the show. The Franks invite Timothy to do a comedy routine with them. Doris shouts out, "And I will SING!!" The class goes silent as they all look at Doris with dread. Doris starts to sing and do her silly dance, and the kids cringe.

Mrs. J. shouts over Doris' singing, "All right, children, you can start practicing your acts now!"

WIPE to the kids practicing their various acts (Grace does a ballet dance; Nora tap dances; Charles juggles; the Franks and Timothy work on their comedy). CUT to Doris singing and doing her silly dance. She stops suddenly and decides that she wants to partner up with someone and not just sing by herself. So we follow her as she makes the rounds of the room looking for a partner.

None of the kids are too receptive (they all politely reject Doris' offer). Her singing makes Charles drop his juggling balls. Her singing drowns out Nora's tap dancing. She tries to convince the Franks and Timothy that her singing could help their comedy act, but they let her down easy by telling her that the audience would be so impressed with her that they won't laugh at their jokes. She moves on and the boys go back to practicing their routine...

char_tim_timchar_tim_franks
Timothy
Who's on first?

Frank #1
Frank.

Timothy
Who's on second?

Frank #2
Frank.

Timothy
I thought Frank was on FIRST?

Frank #1
He is.

Timothy
Then who's on SECOND?

Frank #2
Frank.

Timothy
(Exhale) Alright. Now... who's on first and who's on second?

Frank # 1&2
FRANK!

Timothy
Hem. Guys, can I be frank with you?

Frank #1
No, I am Frank.

Frank #2
No, I AM Frank.


Pan over to Charles who is in awe of this routine. He stares blankly, "Brilliant."

Doris walks up to Grace, who is practicing her ballet, and starts to sing and do her silly dance. She startles Grace and Grace falls over. "DORIS! I could have hurt my foot!"

Doris
Oops! Sorry.


Doris tries to persuade Grace to let her sing while Grace does her ballet. Grace turns on Doris, and tells her what a terrible singer she is. Doris is surprised. Nora chimes in, "YEAH! And you're too LOUD!"

Doris turns to Charles, "Am I really that bad?"

Charles squirms, trying to avoid answering the question. He doesn't want to hurt Doris' feelings. Doris looks at the other kids and they are all trying to avoid eye contact with her. She gets the hint and vows never to sing again.

Later, as the kids continue to practice, Mrs. J. carries something into the lunchroom, where she finds Doris sitting at the lunch table, alone. She asks Doris what is wrong. Doris explains how the kids don't like her singing, and how they said that she was too loud, "even Nora said that."

Later, Mrs. J. addresses the class to tell them that they need a new emcee for the show, since Timothy is taking part in the Franks act, "and since an emcee needs to be able to project their voice, we are going to hold a "Who can be the Loudest" contest. The winner gets to be emcee."

They start the contest. Cut from kid to kid yelling as loud as they can. Cut faster between the kids so that it is like one long yell. End on Nora. Nora is confident that she will win. Only Doris is left. Doris stands up and gives a yell. It isn't very strong. Doris is still a bit upset. Mrs. J. suggests to Doris that she should sing. Doris happily agrees and starts to belt it out and, of course, do her silly dance. She is the loudest, and wins the contest. She gets to be the emcee.

Mrs Jenkens
But only if you agree to sing everyone's introductions.

Doris
YEAH!! You bet I will!!

Nora shrugs, smiles, and turns to Grace, "Oh well... Que Sera Sera."

Doris
YEAH! That's how it goes! Sing along, everybody!


Doris starts to sing and do her silly dance as the kids laugh and we FADE OUT.

THE END

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